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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Kris Osborne's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
8:08 pm
The Fog remake is....
a piece of crap. In fact, it should be called The Log. I cursed the film for the first 23 minutes, after which I turned it off. I was watching with Susan and she made the comment that she wouldn't be adverse to the idea of turning it off and watching the rest of American Idol. I turned The Fog off to watch American Idol...yep, it was that bad. I WILL try it again tomorrow. Gotta at least watch it all before it goes back.


Tom Welling, who goes shirtless about 10 minutes in.

Maggie Grace from Lost. She's a horrible, horrible actress. I'm glad she was shot in Lost and I'm hoping that her character in The Fog will get beheaded when I watch the rest Wednesday. Fingers crossed.

Turning the old, grizzled fishermen, who were the first to face the fog in the original, into hip, beautiful, partying co-eds listening to whiny, generic popular dance music. I think that director Rupert Wainright believes his audience to be moronic. Eli Roth needs to whoop Rupert's ass.

Stevie Wayne, played by the usually strong Selma Blair, is now playing aforementioned generic dance music on her radio station. Why can't filmmakers appeal to adults instead of teenagers? Demographics...its one of my most hated words.

Replacing disturbing atmosphere with jolts.


LL Cool J does NOT appear to be in it. So that bodes well for there not to be a self-referencing rap song during the closing credits.

All that aside, I must say that I was pleasantly surprised with Underworld: Evolution. My inner 13-year old boy was in near-bliss, kinda like when I watched Destroy All Monsters for the first time when I was a kid. Vampires, meta-vampires, werewolves and super-werewolves in a no-holds barred royale rumble....yeah, I dig that. AND Kate Beckinsale. Better than I expected.

Just needed to chime in!
Friday, November 11th, 2005
1:44 pm
Fall DeepDiscountDVD.com Sale...20% off everything...
Just type in supersale in their promotion code box. Good thru 11/19.
10:19 am
10 Favorite TV Shows POSSIBLE SPOILERS for LOST fans
Ooooh! I just read Carl's list of favorite TV Shows. Susan knows I'm a sucker for lists. So here's mine, in no particular order:

South Park - I love Trey an Matt

Reno 911 - The later season's aren't as funny, unfortunately. But there is absolutely NOTHING funnier than Trudy saying "F*&#!!* Koreans!"

The Shield - Vic is a BADASS! Every season so far has been quality!

Lost - Michelle Rodriguez shot Shannon!! WTF?!

The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. - I'll never get over the cancellation of this show.

The X-Files - Pre-Robert Patrick/Annabeth Gish

The Night Stalker - Darren McGavin, baby! I haven't watched the new one because I can't stand Stuart Townsend.

24 - Jack "F'N" Bauer!

Aqua Teen Hunger Force - Quite possibly my favorite show on TV.

The Daily Show - Brilliant!

Current Mood: cheerful
Thursday, October 13th, 2005
4:25 pm
Horror Movie of the Day...



Ooh, this is an oldie but goodie.  Spider Baby is really the only horror film that Exploitation King Jack Hill directed.  He went on to do Foxy Brown, Coffy, The Big Bird Cage and tons of other sordid and risque films in the 70's.  It features Lon Chaney Jr. in his final role which is worth the price of a Netflix rental alone.  Chaney plays the lovable Bruno, chauffeur and caretaker to the Merrye family who all suffer from a genetic disorder brought about from generations of inbreeding.  It causes them to regress mentally as they get older.  Bruno raises them in the family's estate, isolated from society, but their equilibrium is upset when two cousins try to claim their inheritance in the estate.  Soon, the Merrye family regresses into homicidal cannibals.  What movie couldn't be improved with homicidal cannibals, I ask you?  Carol Omhart (House on Haunted Hill), who plays one of the cousins, spends much of her screen time in lingerie, which is another selling point.  Sid Haig (House of 1000 Corpses, The Devil's Rejects) plays Ralph, another bat-shit crazy role for one of my very favorite actors.  Spider Baby precedes other classic cannibal classics such as The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Frightmare by almost a full decade.   

Good campy fun and well worth a look! 


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Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
3:07 pm

Halloween is almost upon us, which means I need to open up a keg of horror-movie-love for my LJ friends. The last couple of years I've just thrown out a list or two and left it at that. I'm going to change it up a little this year. Each day, starting today, I will bring a horror movie to your attention. There won't be any Evil Dead films or any other titles that have accrued a more mainstream following. These are movies that maybe you haven't seen...and probably should. Well, if you like that sort of thing. I can't be held responsible for heart attacks, strokes, seizures or anything else brought on by unexpected accute fear. Watch at your own risk. MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


If you like bloody slasher films, this is for you. It is French, so prepare yourself for either subtitles or a badly dubbed English track.

College friends Marie (Cécile De France) and Alex (Maïwenn Le Besco) travel the French countryside to Alex's family farm. Marie meets the fam and and is greeted warmly. We learn that Marie might have a crush on gal-pal Alex during a nocturnal masturbation scene. "Nocturnal masturbation scene"...that's a phrase you don't hear too often. If the lesbian-obsession subplot hasn't pulled you in, the bloodshed, that shortly ensues, will. It turns out a sadistic killer (Philippe Nahon) has been scoping out the farmhouse. By the end of the night, the family is slaughtered, Alex is kidnapped and it is left to Marie, who has been safely holed up in the attic, to save Alex from a horrible death.

High Tension is one of the best slasher films that I have seen in recent years. The direction is incredible. The film looks wonderful. Acting is excellent. The effects are brutal and realistic thanks to Italian SFX maestro Giannetto de Rossi, who supplied the gore for some of Lucio Fulci's greatest films (Zombie, House by the Cemetery, The Beyond, etc.). Everything is top-notch.

Before I send you on your way to the video store, I must mention the twist. I can only say that there is one and many moviegoers were put-off by it. I had my issues with it as well, but it didn't come close to ruining the film for me. Tomorrow, if I can remember, I'll cover a different horror film. Hope you enjoy High Tension!

Sunday, September 25th, 2005
10:24 pm

LJ Interests meme results

  1. asia argento:
    I've been in love with this woman for years. It goes back to Dario's Trauma, though she had roles in both Demons 2 and The Church. It amazes me how a man as ugly as Dario Argento can have such a beautiful daughter. I think she got every ounce of her beauty from her mother, Daria Nicolodi, an Italian actress who starred in many classics, including the wonderful Deep Red.
  2. dario argento:
    The only director to have three movies in my top 10. Those are Tenebre, Suspiria and Deep Red. I must've rented Deep Red Hatchet Murders, the terribly cut US version of Deep Red, 25 times when I was a teenager. This movie made me a giallo fanatic. I'm SO happy his movies have gotten such wonderful treatments on DVD.
  3. evil dead 2:
    One of the first VHS tapes that I bought. I actually wore it out from watching it so many times. The movie makes me giddy. Funny, creepy, shocking and just plain fun. One of my top 5 favorite movies.
  4. guitar wolf:
    The essence of cool. This is the guy in my icon. Might not be the best punk band you've ever heard, but he just might be the loudest. Check out The Cramps and the 5, 6, 7, 8's if you dig that kind of stuff.
  5. japanese pop culture:
    I think I'm turning Japanese. At least I wish I was. Japanese pop culture is an amazing phenomenon. Very much influenced by the west but still very much its own entity. Kaiju (giant monsters), yakuza (Japanese mafia), folk horror (which has been saturated here in the states), anime, etc. Very cool stuff. I adore the Japanese.
  6. kiyoshi kurosawa:
    What an interesting director! His horror films, like Pulse and Cure, are extremely unsettling. Not gory, but disturbing all the same. His films get under your skin. Will probably never catch on here because his films really take their time to get where they're going. But I'm a fan of 70's cinema and can appreciate the slow burn of real filmmaking.
  7. peter jackson:
    It seems all of my favorite underground horror directors are now becoming larger than life directors. I've been a huge fan of Peter Jackson long before his Lord of the Rings movies. Bad Taste and Braindead (Dead Alive) are two of the best movies to watch at 2 in the morning with friends while eating leftover pizza.
  8. schlocky films:
    The best bad movies are the ones in which the filmmaker and cast truly believe they are making a good film. When its played completely straight and done with such sincerity. Ed Wood is a fine example of one such director. The best example might be Kinji Fukasaku's The Green Slime. I love these movies, just like Joel Hodgeson and the rest of the MST3K did.
  9. the beyond:
    My favorite Fulci film. Zombie mayhem! Creepy blind chick. Little girl's head exploding from a bullet! More Zombie mayhem! Acid to the face! Chains tearing flesh! And still more zombie mayhem! What's not to like??
  10. versus:
    I love this movie. Totally over-the-top. Lots of carnage, viscera, guns-a-blazing, samurai swords slashing, kung fu, zombie fu, reincarnation, yakuza....this is an amalgam of all the things that I love about Japan.

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

Friday, September 2nd, 2005
3:11 pm
Red Cross and Amazon.com
If you're like me, you're probably wondering how you can help out the people of New Orleans and coastal Louisiana. I just happened to check out Amazon.com today and their front page is set up for Red Cross donations. It's quick and easy. It feels really good to do something no matter how little.
Thursday, June 30th, 2005
4:52 pm
This whole circus...
I just have to say that I'm sick and tired of LJ. This is my time to vent. Not for anyone's eyes in particular - just as a vehicle for my own sanity.

For those who use LJ in a productive way, this is no condemnation of you. But to the gossip-mongers, the voyeuristic and the bullies equipped with threats....grow up. Just grow up. I see a bunch of people who call each other friends, though in my book they can hardly be called acquaintances, who chum it up so they can feel better about themselves without actually putting any true emotional investment in anyone else. Do you want to find out who your friends truly are? 'Cause the odds are good that they're not the people on the other end who talk like you're the best thing since the printing press, or condoms for those who don't read. The friends in your lives.... they're the one who help you move. Who take an entire afternoon to help you move your shit. They're the people who come to see you in the hospital. And not just because its on the way home from work, but because they actually CARE about you. They take care of your animals when you are on vacation. I have a few friends. Not a whole lot. And I'm fine with that.

Now, this is the line of thinking that Dave did not understand when Susan said that she and he are not friends. It came out bad, but wasn't badly intended. She didn't weigh the impact of the way those words were formulated. But I know Susan. I know what she meant.

I don't want to be in the middle of this. I don't like to participate in conflict unless conflict is the only course left. But the threats concern me. They need to be put away. When threats are directed at my loved ones, and I love Susan with all my heart, then I feel cornered. It's not a pleasant feeling. I'm a nice guy, but don't corner me.

Now, apologies have been made. Lessons have been learned. Let's drop this.

Take a moment to call a friend, ask them to dinner. Take a walk with them. Step away from the computer a moment and take this LJ business with a grain of salt! That's a suggestion to everyone and no one.
11:27 am
We have a winner!!!!
Robin gets the "Post of the Century" award! Couldn't have said it better myself.

Ding that!!!!!
Friday, June 17th, 2005
10:36 am
DeepdiscountDVD.com sale...
I thought a few of might be interested in this. WWW.deepdiscountDVD.com is having their annual sale. 20% off everything except pre-orders. Just type SUPERSALE in the promotion/sale code. Each account can only use the code once, so be sure to put everything you want in ONE order.
Thursday, January 13th, 2005
2:47 pm
Yet another movie quote quiz...
1. Pick one dozen movies that are ones that you have special feelings about.
2. Pick a few lines of dialogue that mean something to you.
3. As people guess the film, strike out that entry.
4. If possible, after the film is guessed, explain why that movie made the list.

1. quote one: "Don't upset him any more. He'd already RATHER be bow-hunting." quote two: "Ding that, Skippy!" I KNEW SUSAN WOULD GET THIS ONE! WAY TO GO, HON!
2. "In my situation, days are like women - each one's so damn precious, but they all end up leaving you."
3. "I see you, Chocolate Man." VICATRON!! WOOOHOOOO!!!!
4. "No tears, please. It's a waste of good suffering."
5. "We really shook the pillars of heaven didn't we, Wang?" VICATRON AGAIN!
6. quote one: "If you scratch my guitar, I'll kill you." quote two: (Man 1)- "If I were you, I'd run!" (Man 2) - "If you were me, you'd be good-looking."
7. "Well that's great, that's just fuckin' great man. Now what the fuck are we supposed to do? We're in some real pretty shit now man... That's it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do? SAM GOT THIS ONE RIGHT. WTG!!
8. (Man 1) - "Let's give the boy a lift." (Man 2) - "What? No. We can't stop here. This is bat country." CARL GOT IT!
9. "We're coming to get you, Barbara" (Trick question) SUSAN, YOU ROCK MY WORLD!!!
10. "Now get the hell down in the cellar. You can be the boss down there, but I'm boss up here!" VICATRON GOT IT!
11. "If you're talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch!"
12. quote one: "You're not there to party. We've already got *one* Hunter Thompson." quote two: "I am a golden god!" CARL GOT IT!
Friday, November 19th, 2004
11:55 am
Deepdiscountdvd.com sale...
Just a heads-up....www.deepdiscountdvd.com is having their annual 20% off sale. All you have to do is type in "DVDtalk" in the special code section when you checkout. If you're interested, it's available only through the 20th of November.
Wednesday, November 10th, 2004
1:07 pm
I had the pleasure...
...to finally break out a DVD the other night that absolutely rocked both heaven and hell off their cinders. Azumi, directed by Ryuhei Kitamura (Versus), made me giddy. The experience was akin to the first time I saw Big Trouble in Little China when I was 13. I geeked out big time. I won't go into the plot particulars because the twist that comes 15 minutes into it will knock you on your ass, and I wouldn't spoil that for you. What I can tell you is that Azumi, the female lead - who is so damned cute - kicks ass on a scale that you have never seen. The final 30 minutes has more pure ass-demolition than Anal Addicts Vol. 11 (so I hear).

If you liked Crouching Tiger and Hero, Azumi is destined to be part of your DVD collection. All region versions can be had on Ebay, or wait for the inevitable region 1 release.
Friday, November 5th, 2004
2:07 am
If I were a drinker...
I'd be in the bottom of a bottle of tequila right now. I just CANNOT believe Bush won another term. This is so very wrong. The more I think about it, the more depressed I get. I've read some really good posts these last few days, a couple coming from Cullen, that made me feel even more lost than I did to begin with. I just feel so disconnected with our society. The things it values are not the things that I value. I shouldn't have to take solace in the fact that there are a few progressive free thinkers here on LJ that I can relate to. I should be able to share commonalities with my government and feel comfortable in the direction of the country. I do not. I am afraid of it.

I see people following Bush, with their flags held high, buying into the us versus them idea. Whether it be Iraqis or homosexuals, the line has been drawn. These Bush-following lemmings are worked up in a frenzy, listening to Toby Keith while they clean their rifles. They buy into this horseshit. It's no wonder all the southern states voted for Bush while more progressive thinking states like New York and California voted for change. You walk through some places in Tennessee or Alabama and not only do they think women shouldn't be allowed to vote, they believe that a hangin' here or there is a good thing.

The more I see of American flags, and I see a LOT of them nowadays, that image morphs into the Southern Confederate flag. Somehow, it started representing ideas that I don't agree with. The fear that I have is that that image of a confederate flag will become a swastika in my mind. Nationalism, militarism, religious fervor. Anger and fear. The building blocks of a fascist state. We're not there yet. But the path we've started down just might take us close.

I don't usually post on issues such as this. It's usually a review of a horror film. Horror films are my way of dealing with a world I don't understand. An escape. Horror and violence on film are catharses for me. It's the real thing that hurts me. Every time I see death and pain on the news, I feel it. I don't like it. I don't like being lain bare. So I avoid the news and I pop in a zombie movie.

But I'm running out of horror films. I'm going to have to confront the world in which I've lost touch. It can be a harrowing place for someone who cares. And I care, sometimes to the point where I ache. And the Republicans will call me a Liberal, like its a bad word. They'll equate me to Jane Fonda. That "gook-loving, anti-American commie", they'll say. Boy, hate has a way of creeping up on you. Then it takes over. Because it fights the fear. It gives fear a purpose. So many scared people, giving into hate as if it will heal the fear. I'm sad for them.

And I am a liberal. I am humane. Maybe I'm in the minority, but I won't change. I see the right and the wrong, and I want to be on the right side, even if it is unpopular. I want to NOT see morality be legislated. I want to see complete separation of church and state. I want to see jobs return. I want to see the sick cared for. I want to see homosexual couples be recognized as people, not abominations. I want to see our troops come home. I want the hungry fed. And I want abortion to be a non-issue.

But I'm a bleeding-heart. A liberal. Bad word or not, I'm one. And while the rich get richer over the next four years, and poor become poorer, I'll wait. I'll open doors for people at the post office and I'll thank those that hold the door for me. I'll tell Susan and my family that I love them and appreciate them. I'll smile at people I don't know. They are little things, but they are important things. Because if I don't keep doing those things, the more of a misanthrope I'll become. Then I'll become that which I oppose.

I'm waiting but not retreating.

But I'm sad all the same.
Sunday, October 31st, 2004
12:51 am
Clive Barker is a beast!
Has anyone seen Clive Barker lately? I'm watching 100 Scariest Movies on Bravo tonight and the interview Clive about his film Hellraiser. Well, he's huge! He looks like he's spent the last 10 years working out every day. I couldn't believe it. They showed him 15+ years ago and he was rail-thin and very average-looking, but now his neck is bulging with muscles and veins and he's got shoulder length hair and a goatee. It was, frankly, a shock to see him like that.

In other news, I got a chance to see both Saw and The Grudge this weekend. Both were good. Saw really gets under your skin. The Grudge is full of scares, but I had the same problem with it that I had with Shimizu's original film. There's not much of a story. Hell, there's hardly any dialogue, which I don't mind. Sort of minimalist storytelling. But its effective.

Susan and I also watched the Dawn of the Dead remake tonight, too, on DVD. This second viewing has cemented itself in my mind as one of the best horror films in recent memory, right up there with 28 Days Later and Ringu. Though it was cool to see the actors from the original make cameos and also to recognize the references to Romero's film, but it would've been great to just have the film stand on its own. Name it something else. But I guess they figure if they can attach the film to a classic with it's own film-base, they can attract more people to see it. Anyway, its a great horror film. Completely satisfying. So, here's my film ratings for the films (**** being the highest rating)

Saw ***1/2
The Grudge ***
Dawn of the Dead ****
Thursday, October 28th, 2004
3:47 pm
Another Halloween, another 10 horror films that you MUST see....
Oh, how I love Halloween! Once a year we all dress-up for parties and unitarily celebrate all things macabre. It's my favorite time of year. I get so geeked up for Halloween that when the first of November rolls around, and AMC goes back to it's regular, flaccid programming, I go through serious withdrawal. The world turns its head toward the capitalist, commercial juggernaut that is Christmas, and I am left sorting through my collection of Richard Laymon, Robert McCammon, and Richard Matheson stories for something I haven't yet read.

And I continue watching horror movies. Fuck pilgrims and fuck Santa!

You've probably been waiting all year for me to get back to listing my personal favorite horror movies. Wait no more! I am Back in Black in '04 and I approve this message!

Here are 10 horror films that you may not have heard of but are the bee's knees (and most are all available on DVD):

LEMORA: A CHILD'S TALE OF THE SUPERNATURAL - Truly creepy 70's horror film that just enjoyed a remastered DVD release from Synapse. As sexy and sensual as a PG film has any right to be. Cult film vixen Cheryl (Rainbeaux) Smith, who sadly after years of drug abuse and general excess died of complications from Hepatitis two years ago, is perfect here as a young, innocent girl who is corrupted by a villainous world inhabited by vampires and ghouls. The similarities to her real life are prophetic and chilling. Leslie Gilb, in her only film role, is simply sensational as the enigmatic Lemora. Perfect Halloween viewing.

DEATHWATCH - Excellent British horror film about about World War I soldiers who find themselves in eerie German trenches that seem to be deserted. They soon find out that they aren't alone. Someone, or something, inhabits these trenches, and slowly the soldiers' numbers begin to dwindle. A horror film for those that demand more out of their horror films.

THE VAMPIRE LOVERS - Hammer gives us what we crave: bosoms and blood. The opening decapitation scene is worth the price of the DVD itself. Based on a story by J. Sheridan LeFanu, The Vampire Lovers spawned an entire sub-genre of "lesbian vampire" movies. The beautiful Ingrid Pitt stars as Carmilla who has a thing for virgin's blood. The lesbian subtext is none too subtle, and the nudity earned the film an R rating, something that shocked Hammer fans at the time. Slow at times, but a true cornerstone of erotic horror cinema.

AUDITION - Welcome to the twisted world of Takashi Miike. Man, this flick is messed up! You are SO not ready for where this film is going to take you. A filmmaker utilizes a casting call as a method to find a mate. The girl he chooses is, quite possibly, the most fucked up film-siren of all-time. Truly, a date movie if there ever was one.

DARK WATER - Another Japanese gem, this time from Ringu director Hideo Nakata. A superior film to Shimizu's The Grudge. in my opinion. It has all the Japanese horror staples: creepy overlit hallways with blinking lights, dark recesses, shadows creeping in the periphery, and a slowly moving story that builds into an incredibly tense climax. This is my kind of horror. One of the best ghost movies ever.

THE EYE - More Asian horror, this time from Bangkok. The Pang Brothers take a conventional ghost story idea- about a woman who undergoes a corneal transplant and starts, well, seeing dead people - and craft a tight, frightening film that is enormously entertaining. The ending still really stands out in my mind. While American filmmakers explore formulaic filmmaking as a means to make money, the Japanese, Koreans and Chinese explore these same traditional formulas as a way to scare the bejeezus out of us. I bow to their mastery.

GHOSTWATCH - This BBC production is just plain brilliant. It's not available in the states, but there is a region 2 DVD from the UK that is floating around on ebay. If you love horror movies, I mean REALLY love them like I do, you will buy an all region DVD player JUST so you can buy the DVD on ebay and watch it at home. The only thing I can tell you about it is that it was a 2 hour television show that aired in Britain in the early 90's and it follows a group of ghosthunters as they set up shop in a real haunted house. If I revealed anything else, I would be doing you a great disservice. One of the scariest films/documentaries that you will ever see.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES - You may have seen this one already, but its still a doozy of a scary flick. Easily the darkest Disney film ever made. It's a wonderful adaptation of a Ray Bradbury book that really exploits the fears of every 10 year old boy. The scene in the library where Mr. Dark steals entire decades from Jason Robard's life really tapped into my fear of losing my father. It's movies like this that warped my fragile little mind.

DON'T LOOK NOW - The best films were made in the 70's. Period. And here is one of the best horror films from that decade. After the accidental death of the their daughter, the Baxters, played by Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland, relocate to Venice where they try to start over. After a reading with psychic sisters, who claim to see the spirit of their dead girl, the parents begin to see things that surely can't be real, like their daughter in her red coat running through the streets of Venice. The film's conclusion may put-off some viewers, but I found it quite rewarding after some contemplation. The lesson I found from Don't Look Now: grief and loss can make us see things the way we want to see them. Beautiful scenery (I LOVE VENICE!), excellent performances from Christie and Sutherland and amazing photography all add to the haunting experience.

GARGOYLES - Another one of those films from the 70's that scared me silly as a kid. Stan Winston's make-up, for its time, was truly brilliant. There's nothing exceptional about the story, it strains to fill out 74 minutes, but its a good late-night time-killer. Gargoyles, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, and Dark Night of the Scarecrow would make for a perfect night of made-for-tv horror flicks. AMC, take note - Christ! enough with Michael Myers! Play something different!

So, there you have it. My brain has been pickled.. I mean picked. Go forth and feed the seasonal machine - pick up some horror DVDs. Live Journal will still be here after Halloween. Okay, go.

You can check your email later.

You're still here. Go!

Current Mood: hungry - FOR BRAINS
Sunday, October 24th, 2004
11:21 pm
About my earlier post...
I'm pretty sure no one is reading my posts, but - just in case - I felt that I needed to delete my earlier one about Dave and his situation. It was reactionary. My opinions haven't changed, but nothing productive can come about by expressing them in open forum. There are a lot of really good people in here: Susan, Robin, Derek, Renee, Marit to name a few. But Susan, help me to focus on our OWN drama. I can't handle virtual soap operas. lol
Saturday, September 11th, 2004
10:22 am
I can't believe I used the C-word. I HATE the C-word. I was full of piss and vinegar last night.
12:52 am
In need of horror conversation...
Okay, I don't post here often but when I do, you know the post will ooze importance. This post is no exception.

I need to talk horror/cult movies. Urgently.

Back in the day, I co-founded a couple of HUGE horror communities for yahoo groups before they butchered the format. But after a while, I became disenchanted with the petty bickering. So I high-tailed it out of there. Jumped ship. Left town. Moseyed.

But that itch is back. I need to write. I need to mingle among my people. I've accumulated too much useless movie knowledge, horror and otherwise, and need to open the floodgates. Were it not 1:16 in the a.m., I'd fire off some anti-Paul W.S. Anderson quips, or at the very least comment on how Hollywood is deep-dicking us while we grab our ankles and ask for more. Maybe I'll expound on that in the morning.

Until then, I will leave you with these two very important items of information. To learn them is to inch closer to Self-Actualization. They are:

1. George W. Bush is a cunt.

2. Shaun of the Dead opens in theaters September 24.
Thursday, October 30th, 2003
6:49 pm
Just in time for Halloween.... MY TOP 20 HORROR FILM FAVORITES

1. DAWN OF THE DEAD - the quintessential zombie film
2. EVIL DEAD 2 - When I was 14, this was the movie I rented every weekend for about 8 months straight
3. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2 - Wickedly clever script, and Bill Moselely is a Horror God
4. TENEBRAE - The best film from my favorite director, Dario Argento. Everytime the Italian detective says "Petah Neal," you have to take a drink
5. THE FOG - Back when John Carpenter had a pair
6. NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD - Perhaps the best late night creature feature
7. DEEP RED - David Hemmings and Daria Nicolodi have unbelievable chemistry. Gorgeous film. Get the Anchor Bay DVD.
8. THE RING - The Japanese version. Truly creepy. So is Hideo Nakata's sequel.
9. THE SHINING - "I'm not going to hurt you...." MUCH!
10. SUSPIRIA - Greatest soundtrack I've ever heard. Another Anchor Bay print that is unGodly pristine.
11. THE WICKER MAN - Britt Eklund slapping walls whilst nude...yeah, it doesn't get any better than this
12. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE - The Sawyers were the Jenny Craig before there was Jenny Craig...Nobody trimmed fat better.
13. THE HAUNTING - The Robert Wise version, of course. The consumate ghost story.
14. THE EVIL DEAD - Yeah, I knew Sam Raimi was the man the first time I saw this. Brilliant.
15. DEAD ALIVE (BRAINDEAD) - Before there was Lord of the Rings, there was comic zombie mayhem.
16. RE-ANIMATOR - If only Barbara Cranston would love me the way I love her. Damn that restraining order! Please, Barbara, call me!
17, BURIAL GROUND - Guilty pleasure, really. Zombies who work in teams; An incestuous mother and midget son (it's supposed to be her son but the part is played by a grown man who has, well, some weird affliction), zombie nipple biting...how can you go wrong?!
18. BLACK CHRISTMAS - What says Christmas more than the serial killing of sorority girls? From the man who brought you A Christmas Story and Porky's. Bob Clark is either a renaissance man or a schizo.
19. THE BEYOND - Beware the animatronic tarantulas!!! Fulci's best!
20. FRIGHTMARE - The best horror film you've never seen. Pete Walker really pushed the taboo envelope with this one. Is your mother a cannibal? Does she show the typical signs? Maybe it's time you sat down with her and talked about it. Just say no to human brains.
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